“Peter is obsessed with avoiding fat. Paul is obsessed with exercising. Mary is obsessed with doing every last chore by herself. … And me? I wash my fruits three times before eating because I don’t trust where they have been. I keep my distance with everyone who is ill because I don’t want to catch it, whatever it is. I sanitize my hands at least ten times a day. I think I am just being cautious. I am very balanced!”
Have you noticed that “obsession” is a word we like to use on others, but hardly ever on ourselves? We rationalize away our behaviors as normal. That is because obsessive behaviors are rooted in our subconscious. “Sub” means “below”. So by definition, these behaviors are below our conscious awareness. Something we cannot see clearly… or do not want to see clearly.
When we say someone else is obsessed, we mean that we see an alternative, less extreme behavior to achieving similar results. That is a very true observation. In this Universe, there are always different paths toward a goal. It is up to us which path we choose to take.
When we have no negative subconscious influence, we will not be attached to the goal, we will be very relaxed, and chances are, we will get exactly what we want! But when we have strong, unreleased, negative subconscious beliefs, we can become very irrational. We will try to control our outer world by sheer effort, but still be overcome with unsatisfactory results, which in turn would cause us to try even harder, until eventually other people notice our out-of-proportion behaviors as “obsessed.”
In my examples above, which are all rather prevalent phenomena in our society today, the subconscious belief is powerlessness. To imagine that we are sitting ducks to leaping viruses and lurking bacteria is a belief that they have power over us. To think that outside forces (including fat) can control our well being is a belief that we are victims. To exercise incessantly or to refuse help on chores, both may be symptoms of a belief that we are not good enough, and lack control over our own lives.
Rather than living in fear, we can choose more loving alternatives. The most thorough path is something I work on with my clients: discover your subconscious beliefs, find out where they came from and what role they play in your life, keep the positives and release the rest.
But if you are not ready to go the distance, at least try alternatives such as this: Eliminate thoughts that disempower you, which loads chronic stress on your body; affirm loving thoughts, and take healthy actions to improve your bodies’ immune system. Avoidance is hardly an effective methodology for living. Bacteria, for example, is absolutely everywhere, they existed on planet Earth way before human beings did – and they never cause us grief unless our immune systems are weakened.
Ride through life with a smile,